Wisdom in the Court
of Judge Harold Wright

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because 
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were 
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every 
time) 

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone 
rings. 

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know 
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't 
work, it will.