BYE-BYE BELINDA?

Rumours waft that Bill’s girlfriend

is heading back to private practice

 

Incalculable impoverishment of our national political discourse looms as rumours spread that Belinda Stronach is planning to hang up her stilettos and sit out the next election.

 

Relegated to the cheap seats near the Bloc Quebecois caucus and almost never afforded the opportunity to even ask a question in the House, La Stronach appears to be suffering acute limelight withdrawal, and her prospects for a return to centre stage under Stephane Dion seem dim indeed.

 

It's all such a comedown from her gaudy and presumptuous arrival on the scene, in risible contention for the Tory leadership. When life in opposition offered too little face time, Belinda made her dramatic defection to the Liberals (and curb-kicking of Peter Mackay) in return for a ministerial limo and unlimited ink. She was a star.

 

Ever since the Liberal convention, however. Belinda's been strictly C-list, nattering on about mosquito nets for kids in far-off lands, garnering levels of media attention usually reserved for plain girls. Can a head-shaving be far behind?

 

If Belinda does take a pass on re-election in Newmarket-Aurora, she'd put a smile on face of another mug, Martha Findlay.

 

Findlay, having been steamrolled by Tory Belinda in the '04 election, then shunted aside by the party in favour of Liberal Belinda, and then seen her leadership campaign inevitably relegated to the back pages by Horizontal Belinda's adventure with Tie Domi, has had quite enough Belinda, merci.

 

Martha, of course was the first to throw her support and delegates to Stephane Dion, chauffeuring him to the convention centre aboard her campaign shortbus.

  

The following Monday, Dion wrapped up his first day on the job at Hy's, dining with none other than Martha Findlay.

 

The next day, the Liberals announced their new seating plan, and there was Belinda bumped from the front bench and off far to the side, with Tom Wappel, the Grit's one-man lunatic fringe, as a benchmate. Oh, the humanity!

 

(With files from Frank Magazine.)

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